Remembering My Dad

Jen and Dad Tomorrow would have been my  Dad’s 74th birthday.  He died a little over two years ago from Parkinson’s disease.  He was the kindest, gentlest, loving man I have ever known.  I am glad that I had 30 years with him…even though the last were filled with the devastation of a horrible disease.    Days like these are always hard.   I miss him like crazy when I allow myself to think about it.  Yet, I am REALLY am overjoyed that he is before the throne of God and free from pain.  I always remember how much I miss him when I spend time with my family.  A hole is there that can never be filled again.  It is in those times that I remember to cling heartily to my Heavenly, Everlasting Father.   The lesson is that there is nothing here on earth to cling to but Christ.  Things and people always change.  There are no guarantees.    I used to hate the fact that I inherited my dad’s nose.  My mom is a beautiful woman who was a class beauty when she was in college.  My dad was a very handsome man, but qualities on a man transferred to a woman do not always turn out for the good:).  I always wondered why I had to look like my dad.  I was teased mercilessly for having a crooked nose in junior high school.  I had a 7 to 8 year awkward phase of life–I can show you some interesting pictures that were not helped by the way my mom had my hair cut.   I remember the exact day as a high school freshman seeing my grandfather’s picture with the infamous nose on his face, too.  Then and there I stood up straight with pride instead of feeling ashamed.  I never met my grandfather, but I carried part of him with me.    I was at a funeral the other day for my brother-in-law’s father.  Funerals always bring fresh emotion to me about my dad.  A man who went to college or seminary with my dad approached my mom and me, and he said, “you look just like your father.”  I beamed, “yes I do, don’t I!”  There are still pieces and rememberances of him here on this earth through our family and the people he touched.  I laugh to myself as I think about the pride I felt in that moment.  I bet it was the nose that sealed the deal for that man!   My dad was a very talented minister of music.  Just after he died, I tried out and began singing for the worship team at our church.  Just like my nose, I had always felt a lack of confidence with my voice.  That is the one thing I wish I would have done before he died.  I know it would have brought joy to him to see me use my voice again to glorify God.  But, every Sunday I sing, I think about the fact that I am singing with my earthly Father as we are both before the throne of our Heavenly Father.     I cannot list all the things I loved about my dad, but today I remember him with joy and fondness.  And, there is a little part of me that hopes that one of my children gets his nose:).  Though, if it is a girl, she might want to kill me later for it!   For, sadly, they will never know my dad, but I hope pieces of his character and person transfer to them.

Published by jenpinkner

45 years old Married Mom to 2 From Tennessee

3 thoughts on “Remembering My Dad

  1. WOW…I will definitely be praying for peace today and tomorrow. I understand how days like this can be painful…it sounds like you are totally focused where you need to be focused. Amazing…thanks for sharing!

  2. Hello. I found your blog through Carrie Hayes. I am also friends with the Hunt family (they speak very highly of the Pinkners:-)

    This post caught my eye because my dad, 59, suffers from Parkinson’s. It is taking a huge tole on our entire family. He is so young to be experiencing the difficult physical, mental, and emotional trials he is dealing with right now. As I am sure you know about.

    I am so sorry for your loss. I have not lost my dad yet, but in some ways it feels like I’m losing him everyday. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and wonderful memories of your dad. I think I will spend today writing a bit about my dad and remembering as you said, “to cling heartily to my Heavenly, Everlasting Father.”

    Jana Kelley

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