Isolation: The Devil’s Playground

The more I age and mature as a woman, the more I see we remain the same. By that, I mean, we have some of the same insecurities as that of a 3rd grade girl who wants to feel included, wants to feel valued, wants to be invited to sit at the table for lunch but does not feel that anyone sees her.
Looking back over my life, in each transition, there have been times of loneliness, self-doubt, and glowing insecurities. Whether it was a day camp my parents sent me to as a 5th grader at Ridgecrest conference center, the first year of college where I felt I was my own personal marketer of who I really was (ie. “I’m Jennifer, I love Jesus, I can be fun, and please be my friend–I’m lost here”), the first few years out of college where I felt totally lost without a plan or spouse, marriage and the isolation in friendships that may bring, to crossing over from young adulthood to early mid-adulthood where we are in the in-between of not having children where everyone else does.
In my studies of others, do you know what is crazy? I think women tend to feel that isolation in every season and think they are the only ones. They may even be surrounded by “friends” but not connecting from the heart. They may feel they are playing a role, but do not even really know themselves. Most of the time, as women, they sit in silence with their imaginations raging–“I’m lonely–no one ever told me having a child is so hard and isolating.” “I thought I would have my answers met in marriage–I did not know how much I would long for connection with other women.” “Does my husband even care who I am?” “Everyone is leaving me behind, and they do not understand or care.” “I live alone. If I choked on a chicken bone, would anyone care or know?” (aka Liz Lemon from 30 Rock) “I think I am the only one who struggles with ______, am I even a Christian?”
God has blessed me with women around me who are real–who have shared those thoughts about marriage, about children, about eating disorders, about lust, about temptations, about sexual disfunction in marriage, about jealousy. He has in turn, blessed me with being able to share those thoughts out loud. Do you know what happens when you share them out loud and ask for help? Their power is shattered. Satan, The Accuser, cannot steal us from God’s hand if we are in Christ, but he can isolate and accuse us. We are meant to live in community, in a body, but this world today is all about isolation (Facebook, Blogs, email, texting, tv, internet shopping, small families, etc). My greatest fear is the age when I have teenagers who want to retreat into text messaging and pseudo realities instead of knowing how to live, walk and struggle in real relationships. A whole generation is in college right now on the cusp of adulthood, and they have grown up that way.
I long to be real and teach others to cling to Christ in the midst of pain, struggle, and questions. It is only in Him that we are made whole. He, in turn, brings us into a new community that we can be real and struggle with. When you say it aloud, you never know who will speak up and identify with exactly where you are walking. Two are better than one. Speaking up allows for light to shine in the darkness of that isolation…for truth to shatter the accusations…for love to cover over a multitude of sins. Speaking up allows for others to follow suit. Where are you isolated and need to speak today?

Published by jenpinkner

45 years old Married Mom to 2 From Tennessee

3 thoughts on “Isolation: The Devil’s Playground

  1. It is a sweet, sweet thing to know it from experience. What grace that all that is asked of us to immediately bring light is to share it. He is so faithful. My heart is worshipful after reading this. Thank you, Jen, for so often being that person for me.

  2. Thanks so much for this, Jen! You hit the nail on the head here…why are we so reluctant to take off the makeup of false happiness and “I have the perfect life” and be real and transparent? Thanks for doing that here and showing us how powerful it can be!

  3. I loved reading this! Your words, your real, genuine, sincere words help me grow in Christ daily! I am thankful for you and your heart Jen!

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