Done. That’s the only word I have in my bones and spirit at the end of this week/months.
I have not written since COVID-19 landed and upended our patterns of living. I feel like going to Disney was eons ago. Going from a world of people and experiences to a shut down of society is quite an abrupt change. We are knocking on the door of 3 months of this new life.
Here are things that I am grateful for in the midst not necessarily in order of importance:
time with my boys at a very crucial and enjoyable age
porches–I have three places to land at my house
media/internet access to do what we need to do from home (a double edged sword, but a luxury all the same)
The gospel and work of Jesus in me that brings no condemnation toward me, that brings hope in the midst of the messes I make, that changes me and has changed me, that gives me purpose and hope beyond myself and my feelings and what I experience in the moment, that is communal and way beyond individual definitions
purpose through Christ that permeates every situation in order to reconcile the world with Him giving LIFE and HOPE
art/creativity/expression to bring beauty and to work out complicated thoughts
a continuing virtual business
a church that is thoughtful and prayerful and looks to the needs of others
my sweet husband and his presence and patience
grass and lakes and places to enjoy outside
friends–who bear with
a school who seeks to educate and pivot and love and listen
family far and wide
laughter amidst tears
food (including meat), toilet paper, access to masks, access to resources
different perspectives and those who share and bear with Grace
growing peppers and tomatoes and cucumbers on my back porch
a country that allows for expressing opinions in many different ways however stark to our opinion and bent
A lack of rushing (individually AND collectively)
bunnies, squirrels, birds of all different kinds, chipmunks, and, gulp, snakes that play in our yard
God’s word and His Spirit to guide–my emotions and thoughts have been everywhere and He continues to center me back to the truth of who He is
Podcasts funny and informative and escaping
Tiger King’s first few episodes (that seems like so long ago) and “Friends” and things that take me away from the heavy aka–all the streaming platforms
Imagination and ingenuity of my children and of adults as they tackle solving problems in unprecedented ways
I started this blog to talk about how DONE I was with everything.
Then, this list began, and it can continue. This is why I NEED to write, journal, pray. My perspective changes, and I am given strength for a new day. My perspective changes when I look to HIM…and when I stop trying to solve and argue and make it happen. When I stop the scroll and take my thoughts captive unto obedience to Christ.
When He calls us to remain in Him, to draw near to Him, to trust in Him–it’s purposeful. When He calls us to give thanks in all circumstances–yep, it’s purposeful and it helps us hold fast and persevere.
I am reminded that I do not trust in myself, in a political system, in a country, in my resources: I trust in the name and the power and the character of the LORD, my hope. He takes hearts of stone and replaces them with hearts of flesh that may share in his character. All that brings is humility, thanks and rest.