Posted in Anxiety, authenticity, comparison, discernment, learning boundaries, Uncategorized

Great Expectations: What to Expect?

I wish it were the novel…but it’s the list in my head.  So many expectations…in every area of my life.  Some are specific and some are inferred.  Some are imperative–feed, clothe, love, educate my child, cook dinner more frequently than not, laundry…make sure my house does not look like the atomic bomb exploded in it.  Most of these expectations are a part of the universe in my head–the dangerous place…

In the 9 months that I have been a mother, people ask me the same questions–“how’s it going?  Do you like being a mom?  How is your ministry going?”  I keep answering (though sometimes I do not believe me) “good, but I am still looking for balance.”  Seasoned moms laugh and say, “good luck with that!”  I have also said, “I wish I had a boss just to tell me what to do next.”

Jack is a precious, precious, precious boy, and I am really enjoying being his mom and seeing Greg engage as his daddy.  In my heart I trust he is doing well.  However, it’s hilarious the panic that ensues when I see other moms feeding different things to their babies or having a special toy, etc. I am like “wow, have I been content with this stage and missed something he needs to continue to flourish?!?!?”  It can be things as simple as a sippy cup or bits of food.  I think to myself….”boy have I gotta step up my game and be on the lookout to anticipate all his future needs.”  Then, I am trying to talk to him all the time like the doctor told me.  More than that, I want to continue talking to him about God and theology from now on…gotta keep that on the tip of my tongue with him teaching as we go.  Then I think, “do I simply sit and play with him enough? Is he catching the tv screen too much, will he get ADD?”  I hope you are laughing by now at the deluge of my thoughts.  Most of the time, I throw up my hands and hold on.  I have really not been anxious about motherhood–though it sounds as if I have been.  God has given me a peace from the time we even learned that we were going to be parents.

Where my thoughts can really get crazy is the expectations to be all I was before and more.  Ministry to young women.  The time to meet with young women has shrunk to two specific days a week.  There is more than just sitting down with them…there is prayer and study and what they share.  I am not enough for them–nor is that the point.  The point is to point them and bring them to Christ as their all sustaining one.  I feel as if I am doing some of the same things with them that I do with Jack…teaching them about who God is, his faithfulness and not fixing them but bearing with them and presenting them before God in prayer.  I told Greg the other day that there is a lot of heaviness in the lives around me right now (but there always is because of the nature of this life engulfed with sin)…heartache, transitions, struggle in marriage, eating disorders, loss, strife in relationships, unbelief…  My expectation problem spirals out of control when I try to be the fixer.  Fixing is much easier than walking alongside with heart work.  I get exhausted, and I feel completely ineffective.  I have expectations of myself to always be prepared, to anticipate needs, to be able to minister to more and more.  I also have them on my mind all the time praying…then I think “am I praying enough, am I praying in line with God’s word?”

The only problem…the space on my plate has gotten smaller because I have this life that I care for continually physically, emotionally, spiritually.  So, I have to learn the balance of what is realistic for me to expect.  I have drawn boundaries to others with my time–Tuesday/Thursday from 8:30-2:30 (when I have childcare), but I have greater expectations of myself on the inside.  And what happens when my expectations cannot match with my output?  I continually feel like I am failing.  Honestly, there are areas where I really am failing, but I remember to lean into my Savior.

I want to be more as a friend to friends who are struggling and hurting.  I want to be better at pursuing friends–I need to just have fun and share my heart.  I want to be purposeful as a wife in loving Greg well.  I want to be organized with cooking and lose this baby weight.  I want to serve the church well.  I want to be a helpful and loving family member.  I want to paint and write and create.  See why I am unbalanced:)?

This morning greeted me with many muscles in my body aching.  I shared this with my mom, and she said, “you are trying to do too much and always on the go.”  I responded with “but I am not doing that much–I’m not getting anything done!”  My reality and my expectations are not balanced.  It is helpful when someone can speak into that–especially when that someone is one that is on the go all the time, as well.  I grew up witnessing a mom that had a full-time teaching job, a part-time job as organist and a full-time job as my Dad’s ministry partner.  I remember her cooking, cleaning, ironing and talking to people every night and not sitting down until 10 pm.  I do not have the energy my mom had, but in my own way, I think I am trying to keep up.

As women, I think we are caught in this endless banter in our head.  We each have different expectations, and many times, we compare ourselves to many people who excel in different things.  At that rate, we are ALWAYS behind and always feeling less than.  My prayer is that I listen to the One who directs and has called me…and listen to what He wants.  I pray He give me the wisdom to have realistic goals and expectations of myself and to serve excellently by depending on Him in those areas.  I had an irregular adulthood in that I had time before kids to develop in ways creatively and and use my time ministerially and personally that most people do not experience until empty nest.  I now am having to readjust expectations to balance well now.  Please pray that I can…I want my heart to be at peace for the long haul.

Hopefully you do not want to commit me after this post…just wanted to be vulnerable to hopefully encourage anyone out there on the expectation treadmill!

 

Posted in Anxiety, authenticity, God's sovereignty and goodness, infertility, prayer, trusting God

today…

        Today, we go back to the doctor for the first time since January 4.  January 4th was not a good day for me–it was the day I hit the wall.  Since then, we have taken a break from counting days and ovulation and giving shots and going to the stinking doctor more times than the grocery store.  However, today, I walk back in the doors and find out what my life will look like for the next few months. 

            There is some nervousness and dread involved.  I have a talent of trying to skip to the end with my worries.  Why do we do that?  What control do we really have?  How am I aiding anyone by obsessing about things that I do not have control over?

             This is how you can pray—for surrender and trust in my most gracious Father who has everything in His hands for His distinctly good purposes.  Surrender, surrender, surrender and remembrance of His complete faithfulness that does not let me go when I am faithless. 

           Let’s just say I have a lot to surrender because the thoughts that tend to roll around in my head could offer an interesting lifetime movie—or maybe make as much sense as a lifestime movie:).  Thank you to all of you who I know and may not know who read this blog…who care…who pray.  Love to you.

Posted in Anxiety, discernment, discipline, God's sovereignty and goodness, God's will, trusting God

Weighing with Discernment

No, this post is not about the scale in my bathroom. I have discerningly stayed off that scale for the last few months:).
Decisions, decisions, decisions. Just when we get settled in a pattern, another decision is thrown at us. This year has provided me myriad opportunities to speak with women about God’s will. Each of us lives with an idea of God’s will–some more stringent than others. (Weirdly enough, I have found that the more one clings to the Sovereignty of God, the less anxious one is about “missing” God’s will. Maybe I should do an informal study.)
I spend the majority of my time with young adult women at a time in their life where lots of decisions are being made. What to study? Where to apply for jobs? What to do with my life? Where’s the man I thought would be here? Should I settle for an okay guy that makes me feel wanted or should I hold out for someone with greater spiritual maturity and integrity? Is there a guy out there with spiritual maturity and integrity? What city should I live in? Is it okay to do something I like or is that not what God wants me to do? Should I buy this house, this car, or should I stay with my parents?
Do you know a theme I have discerned? People are more concerned about the right and lefts of taking a job or moving than they are with the everyday decisions to pursue God by pursuing holiness. God’s word tells us of people who were called out of their lands to do crazy things (aka Abram, Jonah, Moses–etc). People fixate on this thought. God’s word, more than anything, tells us to love Him with all our heart, mind, soul, strength and to grow in His character by the power of the Spirit in the gospel’s truth. Let’s face it–it is just more “sexy” and exciting to talk about big decisions than the daily decisions to pursue Him. It takes less committment on our parts to think about the “big” stuff than to think daily about surrender and where our affections turn. I hear so much fear in making a mistake and missing where God “wants” me in the big stuff (like marriage and moving etc), but I do not hear a fear about the everyday. Is it not our everyday decisions that make us who we are? In parenting, everyday consistency and love means more than that Disney vacation–right? So, what about making decisions daily for purity in our hearts? Dawson Troutman says “you are what you are now becoming.” Hmm.
1 Thessalonians 4:3 says the will of God is our sanctification. Romans 12:1-2 says to present ourselves as living sacrifices holy and acceptable–renewing our minds daily in Him instead of the world so that we can discern the will of God. Somewhere along the way, people are being taught more about a God of “fate” or a “genie” God more than one you follow with all your heart in order to worship Him and treasure Him in every decision (how to react to my toddler, what to watch on tv, how to spend my money at Target).
From my growth over the years, I see that God is more concerned with our heart’s devotion than righting or lefting us to Minneapolis, Podunkville, Tennessee, or China. There has been ONE time where I knew for certain WHERE I was to be–that was a call to the University of Tennessee at Knoxville. That was my Abram out of Ur moment. Funny, I do not know all of God’s purposes, but I do know that as an 18 year old, I would never have guessed that He was calling me there to suffer and die to myself and see my sin. In my limited vision, I could have gone to a Christian school that I decided on my own and grown more in self-confidence, leadership, and selfishness. I know, sounds opposite, huh? But, He had me go to a place where I was shunned because of my stand for Him. I learned humility, dependence, need–and that I was sinful and He was graceful. He could have done that anywhere because He is God, but He purposed it at UTK. What did He purpose? Not a husband, not lifelong reunions with girlfriends, not a ministry–He purposed my sanctification.
As I said, my ONE time, in 35 years that I “heard” an exact location and call from God. ONE–not even in the who do I marry category did I get that one. In starting a ministry and leaving the world of consistent paychecks, I did not get a distinct “word” from God. In infertility, there are a lot of decisions to make–IUIs, hormones, IVFs, embryo adoptions, international adoptions, domestic adoptions, childlessness forever. I have not gotten a firm read on any of it. Has God abandoned me? By no means! Has He grown me in countless ways in all different places in the country and in my heart? Yes!
Well, I got another shock to the “what is God’s will” system the other day in a phone call. I was offered the opportunity, yet again, to apply for my “dream” job. (At least my dream job from a couple of years ago). I would have to turn from full time ministry to take it. Financially–wow, would it help. I want to pray about it–and I am. As I look, I see there could be many ways I could grow the kingdom there. There is no “wrong” in this situation. There might be a best–but a best in different categories. “Best” financially would be applying for the job–can we say downing lots of future debt and prepping for retirement, possible adoption costs, etc–those things are not ungodly. “Best” in the way I have been growing and maturing and walking deeply with people would be staying where I am–continuing to grow and invest in WDC. The last few months have afforded me so many opportunities to see fruit in the lives of people I have been investing in. I have seen fruit in my life–fruit that does not come from one day–but many years of surrender. I have been content in what God is doing. Growth as a leader, artist, shepherd, disciple has come.
Do I still wonder–Does God want me to take this job? Yes. I have a bit of the “right” and “left” leadership of God still in me from my teenage years. Do I want to continue growing where I am? Yes. Am I seeking God in the middle? Yes. One of my favorite songs ever–“Hold it up to the Light”–says “I am mourning the loss of the choices I’d lose.” (It’s a song about faith and decisions by David Wilcox.) I reflect yet again on that line. Sometimes I think I (and we) can make decisions and opportunities as idols. We have this sense that the decision itself will crush our lives if we do not do it right. (For example, if I do not apply for the job, a chain of events leading to my demise will occur where I will never have a child and my marriage will go to pot and I will miss leading myriad people to Christ.) Does that give God power and glory or the decision the power and glory? God wants us to trust and worship Him in the midst of all of life. In moments like these, I take a deep breath and know that day after day I have been in His word and have been surrendering to His leadership. I ask, trusting Him and His presence that is there day after day, “what do I desire to do?” I desire to continue serving with WDC and pouring out full time into young women and women of all ages. Does a new job sound exciting, sexy and full of economic promise? Yes. Would there be benefits to taking it? Yes. Would God work there, too? Yes. I choose to stay and offer God what I do here.

If you happen to see me on the side of the road with a “will work for food” sign, you know that I got this all wrong and should have been looking for a sign to go right or left!

Posted in Anxiety, God's sovereignty and goodness, God's word, infertility, suffering in joy, thankfulness, transformation by truth, trusting God

A full heart…

I just finished some time this morning in Philippians. Wow. How easily we forget what our lives are about. In Philippians, Paul writes as an imprisoned man.
If I wrote from prison, I think my letter would be quite depressing. “The food here is awful…You would never believe what the people talk about…I get harassed non-stop…I’m depressed…I’m innocent and it’s not fair that I am here!” You can imagine your own letter.
However, Paul writes this amazing letter encouraging the Philippian church in his own suffering as they are also called to suffer for the gospel and the sake of Christ. His perspective in God-entranced instead of man-focused. He even says that he is glad that the prison guards are now able to hear the gospel. His heart and mind are so truth focused. Most people have looked at chapter 2 of Philippians where he talks about the humility and example of Christ, thinking of others before yourself, etc. I guess we can look at it as theory, but he lives it as reality. He is in prison thinking about the Philippian church and spurring them on to faithful lives in Christ for His gospel. When he talks in chapter 3 about counting all things as loss for the sake of Christ and for the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus His Lord. He is not talking in generalities but specifics–he did not have his freedom. In chapter 4 when he says rejoice always in the Lord and do not be anxious–he was living that out in God’s power. When he says think on things that are true, excellent, praiseworthy, noble, etc, he has shown that example in the whole letter. When he says in chapter 3 that he has learned the secret of being content in all circumstances, he is living it right there in front of us. Do you think that is a life of loving God with all his heart, mind and strength? Uh, Yes! The same Spirit in Paul is in those who have repented of their sin and put their faith in Christ’s work on the cross.
Just as Paul was imprisoned to minister the gospel there, we are each in whatever season we are in to minister the gospel and give God glory where we are. We know that He is about sanctifying us (that’s His will–1 Thes 4:3), but He is also doing a work beyond us–for the body who know Him and who are to know Him. Our lives are not our own.
As I have been walking through infertility and writing about it here, my prayer is that others have seen the gospel–the power of God–an example. Not that I am bearing perfectly, but this is bigger than having a baby. Those circumstantial things are not the ends in our lives. Each thing serves as the means by which Christ is exalted. Our lives are not our own.
There are many different seasons of joy and hardship in our lives. Yours may be an impossible marriage with one who does not know Christ. There is purpose beyond yourself and your happiness in it. Yours may be wayward children, disabled children, and unfulfilling job. My friend, it is bigger than just you.
Greg, my husband, always says “how are people to know how to deal with suffering…such as sickness, death, divorce, etc, if Christians do not live that example out?” We are not immune from suffering, but He is faithful and has purpose. Is it easy? HA! NO! But how are people to know the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus if the reality of life on this earth is not lived out by those who are being transformed by Christ in hope?
The awesome thing about Philippians is Paul is in a place of suffering living out the very truth he is preaching. It is not theory–it’s fact. How gracious of God to show us examples in Paul…in Christ…in David…in Ruth…etc, etc. All but Christ were humans, but all had–“Christ in them, the Hope of Glory.” We in Christ are empowered with the Spirit to remind us of truth, to strengthen us with the power that raised Christ from the dead, to give us hope in Him instead of anxiety, to teach us to rejoice in the midst of suffering.
May we live in the reality of Christ in whatever circumstance we are in–knowing “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

*Note…in no way I am encouraging you to think that your circumstance does not count…God bears with you as a loving Father through it. However, it is not about the circumstance just going away–it is about much more. Bring your mind to reflect on His truth.

Posted in Anxiety, God's sovereignty and goodness, grace, infertility, transformation by truth, Uncategorized

A hidden talent…

I have a hidden talent that I have honed all my life. Depending upon the season of life and circumstances, I could be called an expert. This talent is not something to be proud of. It is not healthy or truthful. It involves self-worship, and it does not produce fruit that lasts and encourages.
That talent is worry. I can tell you where all the verses are found to encourage releasing my anxiety to God–Matthew 6, Philippians 4, 1 Peter 5. I have even worried about worrying so much. It is a talent that has been passed down in my family including worrying about what others think, worrying about doing things perfectly, worrying about what happens next, worrying about how I am coming across. I am a firm believer in God’s sovereignty, but if I am a worrier, do I really believe?
In Crazy Love by Francis Chan he explains that

‘worry implies that we don’t quite trust God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives.’

‘stress says that things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control.’

This sentence got me–‘ basically, these two behaviors communicate that it’s okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life in somehow exceptional.’ Gulp.
More than any sin, I think we can encourage one another to worry. There is this fine line between listening to someone vent and feeding mistrust in God.
Lately, I might be sounding like a broken record with infertility. I am given the opportunity every day to walk in my hidden talent or walk by trusting in his grace and strength. More than any situation in my life, I have been reminded that I am not in control. (I think marriage to Greg has taught me that, too) I cannot open my womb–no amount of hormones or standing on my head or old wives tales can create life. Even no amount of worrying prayer and bargaining with God will bring life to my womb. You know what I mean by worrying prayer—“God will make it happen if I pray in this way with these people and I pray enough and I try to be as good and trusting as I can.” Let me know how that works because there are 13 year old girls and drug addicts not praying who get pregnant every day. We, as believers, are not given what we “deserve” in life (good or bad)–God is a wonderfully mysterious God of grace. My greatest worry is probably Greg’s age and mine–“how will I be a good mom when I am older? what if I die and leave my children? what if it is not convenient or too hard? what if I have quadruplets?” You get the picture.
Here’s the problem, I think I am god. And, that is a huge problem–I have put another god before Him and have made an idol. In the words of Dr. Phil, “how’s that working for me?” The problem then is not the circumstance of infertility. The problem is my adulterous heart that is looking somewhere else and worshipping someone other than the amazing Lord that is my King. It is not okay to worry. Like any other sin, I must confess and repent and remember the forgiveness of the cross. I choose to remember the truth that Christ is my righteousness–he trusted the Father perfectly. I admit that I am a poor god, and I am reminded of His character–infinitely faithful (I am finitely fickle). Then, my sin is exchanged for worship and awe.
Chan expounds that worry and stress ‘declare our tendency to forget that we have been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won’t be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God’s strength, our problems are small, indeed.’
Who is God? Creator, Sustainer of life, Redeemer, Deliverer, Giver of life, Just, Merciful Father, Good, The only one worthy to be praised, Everlasting, Sovereign…and much more.
His purposes are high above ours–and better than our finite wishes, and He invites us with Him. The problem–we cling to our finite wishes and treasures instead of letting the debris go and trusting His character. These last few weeks I have been faced with the temptation for anxiety at every turn, but I can say that I have been purposefully looking to Him for TODAY and trusting Him for TODAY. I do not want to borrow worries from tomorrow, and I have enjoyed today more than worrying about tomorrow (not perfectly). This is His grace because I have been on hormones that I have made me irritable and cloudy and tired. May I remember His faithfulness and trust His ways above my own understanding! Maybe I can develop some helpful hidden talents with the time that I would have been worrying!

Posted in Anxiety, God's sovereignty and goodness, God's word, grace, rest, transformation by truth, trusting God

Give us this day…

These last few weeks and the coming one can qualify for some of the craziest I have experienced of late. All good things…just a lot of busyness in preparation for my niece’s wedding, welcoming my nephew home from semester at sea, running the business side of WDC, running the ministry side of WDC, celebrating the end of college careers for many close family members and those I have been in disciple-making relationships with, and then the regular responsibilities of life. I feel like the proverbial chicken with her head cut off…
Last week I got some time to “be with” God. I purposefully was not rushing off to the next appointment or writing my to do list. I actually took time to remember the gospel and what Jesus means to life. I remembered that he is there when I am weak and weary and heavy laden, and he promises rest and is humble and lowly in heart. I was reminded in scripture that we are to come as little children. The notes in my new ESV study Bible (which I love) said children show a childlike trust, a vulnerability, a dependency in everything knowing they cannot provide for themselves. Gulp. Oh the sweetness of being reminded that I am to be completely vulnerable and dependent upon him as a child. Oh the freedom of that. Oh the reminder that he gives us to not worry about tomorrow (a child does not), to ask for the needs of the day (a child does that in trust).
Another reminder was given to me yesterday as I read and studied in the hammock (a Sabbath tradition that I have not partaken of in a while).

Lamentations 3:22-24
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases,
his mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
The LORD is my portion, says my soul,
therefore I will hope in him.

He is faithful beyond belief (especially beyond my belief). He is even faithful to gently remind me in his word that every morning starts with new mercy, new strength from him. In verse 25 he says “The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.” Matthew 6:33 says “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and these things will be added unto you as well.”
I stopped and recognized him instead of continuing to run around in my own self-absorption. I have to be reminded of that everyday. Life in Christ is much more simple than we try to make it…we let ourselves get engulfed by the noise of this world…internet, tv, social media outlets (facebook), busyness, task, productivity. Last week, I felt pulled in every direction…people asking me thousands of questions (it seemed), the more I checked email, facebook, blog, voicemail, texts, the more I had to respond. I was reminded of a Geoff Moore song from the early 90’s–

Simple heart beat in me until I can see a simple heart will set me free
to let extraordinary things flow through this heart of simplicity.

I took a break from Facebook. I knew I needed to simplify my schedule for this week. I cannot be all things to all people, but I know the one who is all that I need (all that we need). My prayer is to approach him as a little child in need, vulnerability, complete trust and with an eye for his glory. My prayer is to seek him first and wait upon him. He is my Daddy, my hope. May this week, even in craziness, glorify him, his purposes, his name. May I be with friends, family, strangers, new friends and have that childlike heart that loves and makes him known.

Posted in Anxiety, discipline, idols, learning boundaries, trusting God

The financial crunch

Finances. Ugh. They are on the forefront of our collective mind as a nation. Fingers point. People panic. This crisis shows the reality of our hearts. We are constantly trying to get something to fill us up. That something may be a new house, a certain car, miracle make-up, crafty projects, eating out, the newest recipe, new fashions, decorator items. Name the vice and we have tried it.

It is impossible to remain untouched by greed. We think we deserve certain luxuries. We know that just one more ______ will fill us and solve our problems (or at least make us feel better for the moment). Watching TLC or HGTV on certain days can create in me the equivalent of pornography–a lust for more. I can think that I am less than because of the house I live in…or the way I look. Ever use shopping as a way to make yourself feel better? A house or clothing or food is not bad in itself, but paired with the lust in our hearts to fill ourselves with something other than God, they become bad for us. In Matthew 6, Jesus tells us not to worry about those things–we are to seek him first and all will be added to you. Where our treasure is is where our heart is.

Everything meant for good is tainted by sin. So, we have to examine our hearts in the light of our financial decisions.
1. Can you afford what you are buying?
By afford what you have I mean–can you pay all your bills and not have debt? The big problem we have is that we are buying things on credit that we cannot afford or can barely afford. Do not get caught in the trap of keeping up with the Jones’ when you cannot afford what they have. (Hint: You do not even know if they can afford what they have–it may be smoke and mirrors.)
Take time to examine what you are spending, and make decisions with wisdom. If you have not made decisions with wisdom, get some help. (By help, I do not mean a “bail-out.” I mean start budgeting and making cuts of your spending in order to pay down your debt. You do not have to stay in this cycle.)
2. When making a purchase, ask why you need it and why you are buying it. Is this from an emotional need? Have you prayed about it? Is this wise? Self-control and self-discipline are a practice, not a gift. There are some things that you may think you need and cannot afford. This is the place we learn what true needs are and who our provider of true needs is.
3. Do not let the world dictate your decisions.
Just because you “can” do it does not mean you should do it.
For example, the bank tells you you can get a loan of $300,000 for a house. That does not give you a license to spend $300,000 on a house. That is the absolute limit. Think about the future. Think about your goals. You may be making a better decision to buying a $150,000 house so that you may invest wisely and give more money away. Just because you “have” does not mean you spend it all.
We always think, if I just made this much more, then I would be okay. In reality, people who are in debt making $30,000 a year will be in debt making $150,000 a year because they do not practice living within their means. There will always be one more thing to buy to fill ourselves or to keep up with our neighbors if we do not look at our hearts in regard to money and consumerism. This goes back to the ten commandments–do not covet your neighbor’s house, wife, etc. We need to learn contentment in Christ and where he has us. We can learn a plethora about ourselves in regards to how we deal with our finances.
4. Ask, how does this glorify God? Who and what am I treasuring through my financial decisions?
It is not as simple as do this and you are good–do this and your are bad. What is your motive? Where is your treasure?
If your treasure is here on this earth, pile up things and debt. You must get the newest fashions and send your children to the best schools and keep up with the latest housing trends. I will tell you, it is all emptiness. These things will not fill you, but follow your way. Most of us are following it–wide is the path that leads to destruction.
If your treasure is in heaven. Think about investing in people for eternal purposes. Think about how to make the most of God in your finances. It will cost you some here–friends, popularity, momentary pleasures. You will make decisions differently. You will learn that just because you can does not mean you must or will. You will learn that in a moment of weakness you might feel less than–or your children might. You may actually do some crazy outside of the box things. You may not upsize your house every 10 years. We are put here to glorify God and make known the treasure that he is–he is a treasure. Narrow is the gate and the path that leads to life. This is not easy. In fact, it is a constant battle, but it is a battle that brings true peace to the heart. Use the lack or plenty that God gives you for his glory–learn to trust.

This crisis is an opportunity for you to examine the path that you are on and what that path says about your heart. May we learn to treasure the Almighty God through his son, Jesus Christ, more than ever in this time.