When you feel like Christmas is not for you this year…

This time of year has a magical hue, but it can be brutal to one’s inner life. Expectations, build up, performance and the wave of reality crashes… Dreams, hopes, memories, pressure and the boat tips as someone else has a different plan. One can have such hopes and seemingly feel invisible in all the noise.Continue reading “When you feel like Christmas is not for you this year…”

Relationships are “Shady”

Life is complicated, huh?  Our rhythms may look mundane and repetitive, but the journey of our hearts and minds in the middle tell a much more convoluted story.  This week, I have found myself watching Hallmark movies and throw back Disney Movies that give a less complicated version of life that remind me of myContinue reading “Relationships are “Shady””

Definitions trip us up

My young adult years were filled with a bit of wandering and confusion about vocation. I felt this pressure to find the “thing” that fit all of the definitions. It had to be this magical path in my mind. I was 22. I felt a “call” as they say in the Baptist Church. I wentContinue reading “Definitions trip us up”

Scandalous

I am beginning to lose count of the number of times the Lord has urged me to share.  It might be an inkling of something going on with someone.  It might be a part of their story they revealed.  It might be the look of desperation and a pattern I see in their behavior.  ItContinue reading “Scandalous”

Who Do You Think You Are?

I have had and have different roles in my life–leader, wife, friend, daughter, sister, aunt, school counselor, pastor’s daughter, pastor’s wife, momma to two boys, business owner, struggler with fertility, starter of a non-profit, disciple-maker, serial dater, avoider of conflict. These are not who I am, but they help shape me by dismantling my own agenda.

Starting a new project means…

My youngest started kindergarten 3 full weeks ago. It’s the longest time I have been away from my children since they were born. The first two days I felt like I had been dumped on a deserted island. I didn’t know where to start or what to feel. I felt an appendage had been takenContinue reading “Starting a new project means…”

a pivotal moment

The floor felt like it opened up to swallow me.  Thoughts and words and ideas and foundations were challenged as I sipped a frozen coffee and listened.     At 21 years old and a senior in college, I assumed I would be a bit more stable.  In the prior year, I had seen my foundationsContinue reading “a pivotal moment”

Pieces of me

I remember the exhilarating feeling of the Summer after graduating high school.  I was 18, seemingly confident, and full of wonder for the future.  I can feel that ghost of a girl as I fondly look back.  Her identity would take some hits in the coming years. I remember the trepidation and excitement as IContinue reading “Pieces of me”

Whatcha carrying?

Here I am, 44 years old, dressed like it’s 1996. Overalls–check. t-shirt–check. Backpack filled to the brim–check. No shower–check. No makeup–check. However, unlike 1996, the load I am carrying is much heavier. My wise counselor once told me that if you feel a heavy weight that that is not indicative of God’s presence and theContinue reading “Whatcha carrying?”

What did I expect?

It all started with a little conversation with a woman who embraces life with gusto. We found out our birthdays are one day and 11 years apart. She asked me what I had planned for my birthday. She had 3 separate parties planned. I said, “Wow! We don’t really have high expectations for birthdays.” Then,Continue reading “What did I expect?”