Posted in Diet Coke, discipline, infertility, learning boundaries

I’m on a diet…

     So, I feel at times that I am such a drama queen with angst filled posts.  On a day where I feel particularly weak and melancholy, I am going to post about something not so deep–Diet Coke. 

       I do not remember when my love affair with Diet Coke began.  I, like many of the masses, began my foray into the diet cola world through Diet Dr. Pepper.  I, then, fell down into the hole of “no return” to hard core Diet Coke. 

         I know in my journey of infertility that I have ramped up my habit.  When the stress pours on, I think “I deserve a treat.”   It became more like an IV line.  Let’s just say, I became a junkie.  It is one of those things that you know is happening, but you turn a blind eye to it.  When you have something “wrong” goign on, you begin to think…”awe, what’s one more bad thing to add to my body when it tastes so good?” 

           A few weeks ago, as I was thinking of going toward tward one more fertility treatment, I realized–I got a big problem.  When I went through a 24 pack in record time, it was time to take control.  So, I quit.  When that pack was gone, I did not restock.  In ten days, I have had two diet cokes–I gave in a couple of times.  One for a movie.  The miraculous thing about it–I did not finish either of them.  Another miraculous thing–I have had more energy.  Funny, the thing I drank to give me more energy actually sapped it.  

          My body has not consumed this much water in several years.  There have been moments I have really been jonesing for a DC, as we call them in our house.  I realize that driving more then 30 minutes somewhere makes me think of grabbing a diet coke.  However, on those times, I have withstood the temptation.  And, actually, when I did have them, they were not so delicious. 

           Addiction on any level is quite embarrassing.  I came clean–there you go.  I was, or rather am, an addict.  Funny, after I made my closet decision to quit, my friend, Elisa, shared with me about a book she was reading about artificial coloring and sweetener.  I am really lucky that I did not grow a third arm or eye from all my consumption.

           So, I am on a diet from diet coke.  Will I never have another one again?  I do not make definitive statements–because the moment I do–you will see me chugging straight from the fountain at Weigels.  Let’s just say that moderation is moving into my life.  One diet coke every few weeks beats 4 a day anytime!