My youngest started kindergarten 3 full weeks ago. It’s the longest time I have been away from my children since they were born.
The first two days I felt like I had been dumped on a deserted island. I didn’t know where to start or what to feel. I felt an appendage had been taken away.
I have tackled several projects that I had not had space to do like painting my kids’ rooms, changing them around, and painting their doors.
The second weekend brought a gnawing feeling to the surface…a sadness, an ache. It hit me…a season of parenting was done. Goodbye to the little years of early childhood, goodbye to squishy faces. I suddenly realized what the women in the line at the grocery store felt as they told me to treasure the years. They knew the gift that is hard to treasure in the midst of the toil of diapers and tantrums and sleepless nights. I finally understood that they knew exactly how I felt and what I would feel. And…they know the grief that accompanies transitioning through each stage.
So, I began this week with the realization of a new grief, and I knew I needed to embrace new adventures in the midst. So, I took myself downtown and just walked around taking pics of buildings to do a little watercolor painting. There was no distinct plan–just the first room to give myself some space to embrace the new. When I am sad or not sure how to process something, I find somethign to fill my time and my creativity.
So, here we go…here are my first stabs at my little project. I could name it “my kids are in middle childhood and I am trying to figure out how I feel about it” project.